The Long and Winding Road
by The.Forgotten.Ones92
Summary: Paula Shepard has her hands full trying to balance school, love and friendships amid chaotic gang wars and a dysfunctional family lifestyle. When she receives the shock of her life who will be there to support her? Her best friend Ponyboy? Her siblings? or someone new?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! I'm very excited about this fic! **

**S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders, I do not. The character Paula is mine however. She is about 15 in this story. Sam's mine too. Enjoy!**

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**May 1966**

"This is the last time," Paula stifled a yawn with her small hand. Her other hand brought the small white stick to her mouth. Closing her eyes she inhaled deeply.

"What're you talkin' about? You have enough left for at least one more joint," the boy sitting next to her said as he took what was left of the stick from in between her fingers.

"You know what I mean." A breathy sigh slipped through her lips. Letting her body slide down the wall until she was laying flat on her back, Paula looked to the twinkling stars up above.

"Yeah, and you've said it before. It doesn't _mean _anything."

He had a point. She had said it before, too many times to count. But she knew if she didn't keep saying it, she'd for sure never get around to ending it. He was wrong, it did mean something. He just obviously didn't like it.

"You know the trouble we'd catch if anyone found us here," she said aloud. Her brother would whoop her ass, that's for sure.

"It's four in the morning. It ain't exactly busy out 'round this time." She knew Sam worried just the same as she did, his cool persona just wouldn't allow him to show it.

"Whatever," sighing again, Paula gave up and let the marijuana fully relax her body.

"Want to make out?" he wasn't exactly the most tactful guy out there, but at least he was honest.

"No."

" 'kay."

XXX

Less than an hour later, Paula wrapped her jacket tightly around her body and set off in the direction of her home. From behind her she heard Sam ask the same question he did every night,

"You want a ride?"

"Please. I can hear your car a mile away. I'll walk."

"So–tomorrow this time," it was more of a statement than an actual question.

"Maybe, don't get your hopes up." It was a lie. He knew it just as well as she knew it. She'd be there. She needed to be. Sam shook his head at her and the hopped into his rust bucket of a car taking off the opposite direction.

It was a nice evening out, the spring days of May were refreshing after a long winter. The jacket Paula wore was mainly for security, not warmth. In the dark of the night Paula cursed as she stumbled over a discarded brown fast food bag.

_Shit. _

She was a house or two down from her own home and she'd noticed the living room light shinning bright onto the front walkway. Cursing her luck, Paula crossed the street, walking until she past her house, making sure to stay out of the light. Quickly as she could Paula crossed the street again, sprinted into the neighbour's yard and climbed quietly as you can possibly climb over a chain link fence.

Maybe, her mother had just forgotten to turn the light out before she went to bed. Or maybe she passed out before she had the chance. In a quick motion Paula lifted her bedroom window and hoisted herself in as smoothly as possible.

Ignoring the thud of her heart beating loudly in her chest Paula listened for any movement in the house. Everyone seemed to be asleep. She kicked off her shoes and hopped into her bed. Squinting her eyes together as tight as they could go she read her alarm clock at 3:49. Only three hours till she had to be up for school. Groaning at the thought Paula rolled over in her bed pushing her face into her pillow.

"If you were trying to be stealthy, you suck at it."

Paula nearly jumped right out of her bed at the sound of another voice.

"God, Angela, you could of gave me warning before you scared the shit out of me," she sent a glare, willing her sister to see it even in the dark.

"How much do you think I like being woken up this early in the morning?" Angela did have a point there but Paula didn't much care. Angela had disturbed her sleep pattern countless times before.

"Whatever. G'night."

"Tim would have a fit if he knew what you were up to."

"Shut it Angela. It ain't your business."

"You'll owe me."

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**A/N: I know that the only character yourrecognize is Angela, but don't worry Curly, Tim, Ponyboy and the rest of the gang will be heavily involved in this story! Hate it or love it, review please. **


	2. Chapter 2

**S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders, I do not sadly. I do own Paula and Sam though. Enjoy!**

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**May 1966**

"Ponyboy! Over here!" Paula waved her hand back and forth wildly, hoping to catch the eye of her best friend. He'd just arrived, followed by his quieter friend Johnny. It was a usual night, busy night at the drive-in and she was itching to get away from her brother and his obnoxious friend.

The drive-in was the only place in all of Tulsa that was considered neutral ground. Both the west side and east side kids, the Socs and Greasers gathered here. It was no means a truce; it was just an understanding – no fighting while on drive-in property. It didn't mean you couldn't take it outside, which seemed to happen without a doubt every single night.

"Curly, ain't that the broad you were trying to pick up the other night?" Curly's idiot best friend Danny mumbled in between mouth full's of popcorn, kernels flying every which way. Paula couldn't help but roll her eyes in his direction. Danny wasn't the brightest of the bunch, and if he hadn't been Curly's friend since grade school she was sure Tim would've kicked him out of his gang long ago.

"Where at?" Curly jumped to his feet whipping his head in the direction that Danny was pointing.

"Aren't you boys supposed to be keeping your eyes open for something of the opposite gender?" Paula muttered under breath. It shouldn't be such a surprise to Curly when he only got the shit jobs from Tim. He could keep focused long enough to handle a simple task like surveillance.

"Shouldn't you be off gettin' busy with that Curtis kid," Danny scoffed in her direction.

"Shouldn't you be minding your own business," Paula huffed, "And we are just friends."

Out of the corner of her eye, Paula seen Curly elbow Danny in the side. He muttered something Paula couldn't quite make out but whatever it was it warranted a glare from Danny.

Since Pony boy hadn't noticed Paula when she had been waving to him she decided to leave the two idiots she'd arrive with behind and move into the crowd until she tracked down her friend. But it was easier said than done when she only stood around 5'2 and couldn't see where she was going, lost in the crowd of teenagers.

If there was one thing that Paula hated most about herself, it was her height. When she went to the store she could never reach the top shelves among countless other things that irritated her to know end. Even from a young age her siblings had constantly poked fun at her shortness. All three of them were taller than she ever hoped to be.

Using her intuition Paula pushed her way through the maze. Exasperated and almost ready to turn around she felt a tug on her elbow and let a sigh of relief slip through her lips.

"Hey," but to her complete displeasure it wasn't Ponyboy. It wasn't anybody that she expected, or wanted to see. The smirk he was giving didn't help her mood.

"What are you-you have to leave. We can't be seen talking to each other." For a moment Paula felt as though her heart had stopped beating as she whirled around wildly to make sure that no one she knew was looking on.

"Calm down, it's so crowded in here nobody will even notice us havin' this little chit-chat." He didn't seem to be breaking a sweat which ticked Paula off.

"What do you want?" Paula asked quietly but defiantly.

"I just got some new stuff, just thought I'd be polite and as if you wanted the first crack at it."

Paula couldn't help but roll her eyes, "yeah Sam, you're real gentlemen. Smoking some grass in the park is one thing. We aren't friends."

"Well, what the hell are we then?"

Paula groaned inwardly, this was not what she wanted to be doing on her Friday evening. Why was he being so difficult? Then again, they hadn't ever had to deal with situation in public before. Lord knows they ran in completely different circles.

"Sam," Paula started but trailed off when the crowd began to thin and she saw Ponyboy walking over to her with Johnny, "I don't have time for this right now."

"So what? I'm just your dealer?" Paula thought she might have seen a glint of hurt flash in his eyes.

No, she must have mistaken it for something. She didn't have time to play nice, her friends were steps away and Sam was about to blow her secret.

"Sure," Paula muttered. This time however, when she looked up into his eyes, she couldn't ignore flash of anger. Before anything else could be said Ponyboy was at her side, his face scrunched up in obvious confusion.

Breaking the uncomfortable silence, whoops and hollers erupted from behind the small group of teenagers, just beyond the entrance of the drive-in.

"C'mon," Paula grabbed Ponyboy's elbow and pulled him toward the action, not bothering to give Sam another look.

Breaking through the circular crowd Paula took in the sight that lay in front of her. She knew she shouldn't be surprised to see Curly tangled up with some dark haired greaser, one that she didn't recognize. Curly was a tough kid, one that could usually hold his own, but it was obvious he was getting the snot beat out of him which is what surprised.

Paula's eyes scanned the crowd for someone who could help, and her eyes landed on Danny. No, that wouldn't work. He was standing there looking like a deer in the headlights. Shaking her head she tugged on Ponyboy's elbow, her eyes pleading.

"Paula..." Pony whined, glancing back at the two struggling boys.

"Look at 'em Pony, he's getting his ass handed to him," Paula knew that Curly would be irritated that someone had to step in, but she figured he'd like it a heck of a lot better than having to nurse a broken nose and rib back to health.

"You know Darry will get after me Paula," but even so he took a few steps towards the two boys.

Before Pony could even attempt to intervene someone else strolled into the ring of people as casually as if there were walking into the diner to grab a coke. Sighing, Paula pulled Ponyboy back next to her and watched Tim as he yanked the dark haired boy off of her brother. She felt for Curly. Tim stepping in was ten times worse than Ponyboy if Pony had to help him out.

Beyond Curly and Time Paula could see another group of boys, none who she individually recognize. She knew who the boys were collectively though. They were the River Kings. All the boys had their eyes trained on Tim, but her intuition told her that there were two dark eyes staring straight at her, and when she scanned the gang she was proved right.

Paula felt uncomfortable and the blush the invaded her face was a sure giveaway. Was he trying to bring attention to the fact that she was going behind her brother's back. They weren't supposed to know each other; they sure as hell weren't supposed to be making eye contact. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Ponyboy glance back from her to across the lot at Sam.

Shit.

"Go to the car," her brother Tim pushed Curly towards the entrance, and motioned for her to follow. She was certainly not going home; it wasn't her that had caused the commotion. She had planned to spend the evening at the drive-in with Ponyboy and that's exactly what she was going to do. Thankfully, she didn't have to argue with her brother, someone else felt the need to take care of that.

"Shepard, where ya running off to," the voice rang out through the crowd, silencing the quiet chatter that had erupted. Despite the warmth of the evening Paula felt the hair stick up at the back of her neck. Outwardly Tim appeared like he'd rather just walk right on out with Curly but instead he turned to face Lee Vincent, the leader of the River Kings. "You're great escape don't have nothing to do with fact that my boy here just whipped your sorry excuse for a brother now does it?"

Those brave enough to stay in the crowd held their breath waiting for Tim's response. So far he had kept his cool but Paula knew that he wouldn't keep quiet for long.

"Or maybe it's because you're outnumbered, and don't want your own ass handed to you?"

"It sure ain't either of those Vincent, I'm just not interested in wasting my time on your sorry excuse for a gang," The fact that Tim was slightly rattled wasn't lost on Paula. Though, she was sure she was the only that could tell. Lee Vincent was right though, her brother's were sorely outnumbered. She didn't even count Danny in the mix; he was about as useless as a bump on a log.

She couldn't see her friends anymore which wasn't surprising. Ponyboy did his best to stay out of trouble. Paula could say she did her best to stay out of trouble too, but she wasn't quite as successful her friend. People were always shocked to know that they were such good friends, they were so different. Paula thought they balanced each other quite nicely.

"You should be interested there Timmy, you should be very interested," with smirk on his face he turned his back on Tim and walked away with the rest of his boys. The tone in his voice made Paula wonder if Tim really should be interested.

The lack of fighting seemed to bore the crowd as it dispersed leaving only Paula, her brother's and her friends.

Curly was on Tim in less than a few seconds, "Why did you just let 'em walk away like that Tim, he was embarrassing you on our own turf."

Paula groaned and for what felt like the hundredth time she rolled her eyes. She knew Curly was still amped up from his fight but she didn't understand why he had to always put his foot in his mouth and piss Tim off. Her eldest brother didn't look embarrassed but he did look bothered.

"Get in the damn car Curly. If you hadn't started a fight you couldn't finish than I wouldn't have had to talk to that asshole." Tim pushed Curly ahead again, Danny trailing slowly behind.

It seemed that the brief talk between him and Lee had left Tim rattled, so rattled he didn't even notice that Paula didn't follow to the car. She took the opportunity to head off in the direction of the candy corner where she had caught a glimpse of Ponyboy and Johnny.


	3. Chapter 3

**S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders, and Sam and Paula are mine!**

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**May 1966**

He hadn't come. Paula sucked in the night air. He'd never _not_ shown up before.

She thought back to Friday at the drive-in. Sure, she did blow him off but what did he expect; it was obvious why she'd done it. He'd seen with his own eyes the conflict between her brothers and the River Kings. The gang _he _belonged too.

Paula settled into her usually seat against the children's play equipment anyway. It was old and weathered but something about it made her feel comfortable. She remembered playing on it when she was young, with her siblings. They were a lot more innocent then, even Tim.

It was the same spot that she and Sam had been meeting the last few weeks. They would share a joint and Paula would feel that wonderful sense of calm overcome her. Sam would talk about a few things that she had no interest in and he wouldn't question her when she didn't respond.

Paula pulled her knees up to her body and put her head in-between, trying to keep her breathing even and calm while trying not to think of the prospect of losing her marijuana hookup. From day one she should have just taken the weed and sent Sam on his way. Just did a normal business deal. This was just like her though, screwing it all up. Sighing she lifted her head, ready for the long walk back to her home.

"You crying?" his voice startled Paula as it broke the silence of the night.

"Of course not," she wasn't crying. She never let anyone see her cry. She'd done that once and her siblings had laughed in her face. You didn't get anywhere within the Shepard family if you cried.

"Oh." He looked a little flustered, and his voice was certainly strained.

"I thought you weren't coming," Paula narrowed her eyes at him. All the while trying to look annoyed she couldn't help but feel excited. She kept her voice even though. He didn't need to know just how much she needed his product.

"I just-ran into some trouble." He pulled out his cigarette box and fished around in it, avoiding any eye contact with Paula.

"What kind of trouble – did anyone see you leave?" she thought he was smart enough, but after last weekend she couldn't help but question him.

"Nope," Sam shook his head back and forth. Nonetheless Sam's hand was visibly shaking. Something was bothering him enough that he couldn't even steady his fingers to find the little white stick buried within his cigarette box. Paula pulled out her matches, lit one and held it over the box so he could see better. Within seconds he pulled it out and put it to his lips. Paula used the already lit match to light it for him.

After on quick inhale, Sam handed it over to Paula.

"So, you wanna make out?" Paula couldn't help but smile. He was trying to deflect any further conversation about where he'd been and Paula let him. There were more pressing matters to discuss.

"Sam, I meant what I said before, we aren't friends, we can't be," Paula wasn't sure how he'd react but she felt the need to squash whatever _issues_ that were arising between the two. She couldn't afford to give up this three o'clock high. It was what kept her sane, kept her together.

"That's sure a shame. I'm a real good friend."

"Exactly! You're loyal to your friends – who just so happen to be enemies with my brother. So sorry, we can't be friends," she shook her head. Why was this so hard for him to understand?

"Fair enough Paula, fair enough," with that, Paula let the drug take control of her body as she gazed up to the twinkling stars.

XXX

Paula awoke to the familiar sounds of screaming and cursing. Groaning she buried her head beneath her pillow to try and drown out the sounds coming from down the hall. When it got louder, only muffling the words Paula whipped her blankets of her small bed and hoped over to the dresser she shared with Angela, dodging the discarded objects strewn across the floor. Her older sister was already gone. In all honesty though, Paula hadn't even noticed if she had been in the bed when she got home earlier in the morning. Her sister could have easily not have come home at all.

Paula dug through the dresser drawer searching for something with less wrinkles than anything on the floor. Her sister barely did any laundry even though she went through ten times the amount of clothes as Paula.

Settling on a white t-shirt and a dark blue skirt she tied her hair up with a hair elastic and set out into the battlefield that had overtaken her home.

Today was Monday; Paula knew her mother was not supposed to be at home, she was supposed to be work. That was probably what started the fight to begin with.

"All you are is a lazy fuckin' bitch, I can't support this family my own damn self!" Rick was drunk; there was no doubt about it. He was wobbling over, and the liquid in the bottle he was holding sloshed onto the carpet. He was also in her way. Paula stood at the end of the hallway, waiting for him relocate so she could leave the house. Unfortunately, the bastard locked eyes onto Paula. "And your lazy ass kids do nothing but fuck around on my dime!"

Paula's blood boiled. She would have liked to ask how they spent his money when it all went to booze for himself and her mother. But, she knew better than to speak when he was in this type of mood.

From behind her she heard a door swing open and turned to see Curly hop out of his room, pulling a t-shirt over his head. He had a scowl on his face. When he reached the end of the hall he grabbed Paula's arm and pulled her through the living room, brushing past Rick, and out the door. Paula sucked in the warm morning air, praying that he wouldn't come out after them. Something from inside shattered, Paula guessed it was the bottle of booze Rick had been holding. Without looking back she took off after Curly who was already halfway down the street.

"Curly, wait up!"

He slowed his pace so his younger sister could catch up. He was shaking though and Paula knew he was pissed. She was mad too, but it was all to familiar for her to really get worked up about it. Curly on the other hand, was an emotional person. He'd deny until his face was blue and most of the time he kept his 'I don't give a fuck,' attitude in check. But Paula knew that Curly wore his emotions on his sleeve. Paula also knew that he'd probably had a long night trying to redeem himself with Tim, because he looked up to him so much. He'd deny that to, but she knew better.

Paula finally caught up to her brother, matching his stride, neither of them saying a word. Heck, there wasn't anything to say. By the time the two had reached the Curtis's Curly had all but calmed down.

"You going to come in before school?" Paula asked her brother as she stopped, one hand on the rickety gate. He didn't normally hang around with her and her friends, but she knew he got along with Ponyboy alright.

"Nah, Brad Thomas just lives up the road, I'm goin' see what kind of trouble he wants to get into today," Curly smirked as he strolled off in the direction of his buddy's house.

Paula rolled her eyes at her brother and called after him to not do anything too stupid, but she doubted that even if he did hear that he'd listen.

Skipping up the stairs Paula didn't' bother knocking on the door; instead she opened it up and walked inside. The sight that lay before her was something of the familiar type. Steve was standing near the door looking impatient and Soda hopping around trying to pull his socks onto his feet. His hair was still wet and pointing every which way indicating that he must have just jumped out the shower. Punctuality wasn't his strong suit.

"C'mon Soda, I have to get you to the DX and then get to that parts store all the way across town and back in time for school. I don't have a damn minute to spare!" he grumbled as he pushed past Paula and out the door, not bothering to say good morning. It didn't bother her though, he seemed to be having just as great a morning as she was.

"Hey there Paula – see ya Paula," Soda exclaimed goofily as he followed Steve out the door, shoes still in hand. Paula shook her head and continued on into the house.

Darry was in the kitchen cooking something up so that's where Paula's feet took her next. Her stomach grumbled and she hoped that he'd have some leftovers.

"Hungry?" Darry always seemed to know what she was thinking. Nodding, she caught the piece of toast the oldest Curtis flung at her. "You know where the butter and jam is!"

"Pony up yet?" she asked between bites, eating it dry instead.

"He's in the shower, had to wait till Soda finished. You're over early?" He glanced back at her. She didn't talk about her home life much, but she knew it wasn't too hard to figure out given she was a Shepard.

"Couldn't sleep," Paula mumbled. Darry just nodded his head her way left with nothing else to say.

Not three minutes later Ponyboy padded barefoot into the kitchen in search of his own breakfast.

"Morning," Paula called out to him. He looked just as impressed with this morning as she felt.

"Soda took all the damn water," Pony muttered. He barely swore; he left that up to Paula. She knew that she swore more than most girls, and even more than some boys. It was pretty much inevitable, what with growing up with Rick and her brother's. Nobody scolded her when she swore at home, but the Curtis's was a different story.

"Pony, watch your mouth." Darry reprimanded his younger brother. Pony looked down at his feet. He was fourteen, Paula knew Soda had been swearing for years and Darry barely noticed. Paula also knew Pony's issues with Darry run a lot deeper than the occasional cuss. Instead of arguing Ponyboy took a bite out of a apple before throwing it in the trash. The loud noise caused Darry to look back at Ponyboy, and looking like he was on the verge of another lecture.

In an effort to stop any further friction between the brother's Paula moved to the door, beckoning Pony to follow, "C'mon lets go before we're late. Steve had to drive across town to get some parts or something. We have to walk."

Pony followed her through the living room and out the door much to her relief. They were barely to the steps before he lit up a cigarette. Pony handed the pack to Paula who took one out and lit it with the same match Pony lit his with.

"These things are goin' kill us one day," Paula thought aloud.

"Well something will, this is as good of a cause as anythin' else," Pony nodded in agreement. Paula chuckled. He really did love his cigarettes. She figured he would like marijuana as well, but she knew Darry would kill her if she got Pony hooked on it. Her own brother would kill her if he knew.

"Who was the guy you were talking to at the drive-in on the weekend?" Paula took in a sharp breath. She knew Pony had noticed something was up, but she had prayed that he wouldn't dig to deep into it.

"Oh, I don't know, he was trying to pick me up I guess," Paula replied quietly. She was about to open her mouth to ask when the History quiz was, but Pony wouldn't leave it alone.

"Really? He's a Rive King ain't he?" he looked at Paula this time, and she turned her eyes away to the cars passing by them on the street.

"How am I supposed to know?" she snapped. The conversation was over now, she knew that. When every she got snappy with Ponyboy he always let up, he hated conflict as much as her brother's loved and she knew he was getting is full share with Darry at home.

XXX

**A/N: I know its a little slow right now but it will pick up! Please review & thanks to those that have!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, no new chapters have been added. I just did some serious proof reading on my previous chapters and changed the odd thing here and there. Hopefully it had made my writing a little stronger. I'll more than likely have an update within the next week!**

**S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders. Not me.**

**XXX**

**May 1966**

As the seconds on the clock ticked by painstakingly slow Paula could sense Pony getting restless in his seat beside her. The two were sitting near the back of the classroom, and although Paula didn't mind geography with Mr. Martin, the sweltering heat outside was making it impossible to concentrate inside. She brushed away a drop of sweat that was trickling down her temple and tried to focus on the black board. Towards the front though it didn't look like Martin was much into what he was teaching either.

Losing interest for what felt like the millionth time that day Paula followed Ponyboy's gaze up to the clock hanging on the wall. Eighteen minutes until school was out. Sighing, she let her mind wonder to what she would do after the last bell rang. She guessed she could go home now; Rick would probably be long gone. More than likely he would be sitting on a bar stool at his favorite joint getting his beers in before work. It was a wonder he could even keep a job when he practically drunk 24/7.

A light punch to the shoulder brought Paula out of her daydream. She looked up to see Ponyboy standing above her.

"What."

She looked around the classroom as the rest of her classmates were filing out towards the hallway. Obviously she had missed something.

"Mr. Martin let us out early, he could barely breathe up there," Pony shook his head, a smile tugging at the two corners of his mouth. "I think his tie was too tight."

Paula let out a laugh and followed him out of the room in a hurry. A cold coke at the DX was looking better every minute. Stepping outside she was assaulted by the blazing Oklahoma sun.

"Shit. Has it ever been this hot?" Paula pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, in an effort to keep her neck cooler.

"I dunno 'bout that, but it sure is hot." Pony scanned the parking lot, presumably looking for Steve's car. Sighing he turned back to Paula, "well, I don't see Steve or Two-bit anywhere."

"Are we going to the DX? We might as well get on walking if we are," but before she could take another step something, particularly someone, caught her eye.

Sam.

Groaning, Paula hastily grabbed Ponyboy's arm and started walking down the sidewalk, probably a little faster than needed.

"Paula – it's hot, slow down." Pony was whining behind her but Paula didn't slow down. She wasn't in the mood to deal with Sam and whatever questions Ponyboy was sure to have.

"All the more reason to get to the DX quicker!" throwing a glare over her shoulder to her friend she continued on with her stride.

When the familiar rumble of Sam's engine came up beside her Paula took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Ya'll need a ride somewhere?" he called out of the window. It was an innocent enough question. If it had been absolutely anyone else, any single other person in all of Tulsa, she would have jumped in without a moment's hesitation.

"No," Paula shook her head vehemently without even throwing a glance in his direction.

"Aww, c'mon, that ole Oklahoma sun is scorchin' today, ya'll are goin' melt before long." His southern drawl was somewhat coaxing to Paula at that moment. She shook her head again; the sun was making her delirious. There was no way that Paula would be getting into Sam's car in broad daylight.

But then again, the daylight might just be the reason she would.

Glancing back at Ponyboy Paula rolled her eyes. He was panting like a dog ready to pass out.

"Fine," she muttered quietly and motioned for Pony to get in the front seat. He didn't make a move though.

"Really?" Sam seemed to speak for Pony instead. His one eye brow was cocked and his smirk was might big.

"Well, like you said, it's hot out, damn it." She turned her gaze back to Pony, "you want to walk out here for another half hour?"

Paula knew it was a bad idea but between the heat and Sam's inviting drawl she knew she couldn't resist the ride. It was just a ride. If Tim somehow questioned her about she would just say she didn't know he was a River King. Crawling in the back seat she sighed, realizing it was just as hot in the car as it was outside. At least they would get to the DX ten times sooner.

Ponyboy shook his head slowly and got in the front seat. She could tell he was tense. She silently wished that he had had track practice today.

It wasn't even whole minute before Sam slowed down to a near stop. Out of the front window, Paula could see two young guys waving to his car from the sidewalk. She wasn't worried at first but that was only until she got a close up view of one of them. He was the same kid that Curly had gotten into a fight with back at the drive in on the weekend. Sam muttered a curse under his breath, loud enough that Paula could hear in the back seat however.

"Ehh , Sam give us a lift, we're burning up out here." She knew he would have no choice but to let them in. Her stomach turned inside and Paula definitely regretted her decision to accept the ride.

The two boys crawled into the back and the one closest to her took a look around the car to identify the other guests, landing his gaze on her.

"Well now Sammy who've we got here?"

Paula did her best to keep her eyes trained on the back of Pony's head.

"Just some kids who needed a ride." Sam's voice didn't waver the least.

"That right," the boy closest to her let his eyes wander the length Paula's body, stopping extra long on the patch of skin between her skirt and thigh highs. That was just about all she could take.

"Excuse me," she spat, her eyes narrowed at the boy.

"Well shit! She's got some attitude." He looked at her amusingly, but there was something else glinting in his eye. Something that resembled recognition.

"I thought I knew you from somewhere! You're Shepards kid sister, ain't yah?"

Paula could here Pony cough a little up in the front.

"She ain't Roy, leave it alone," Sam decided it was his time to step in. Some help he was.

"Stop the car and Let us out."

He didn't and Paula began to get nervous. She had a right to be. She'd gotten to careless. Tim had told her to stay away from any gangs, in particular the River Kings. But had she listened? No. She had gotten herself tangled up with Sam and now she was trapped in a car with three of them.

The boy, Roy, sitting next to her threw an arm around her shoulders and she thought she might just be sick right there in the back seat

"Stop this fucking car and let us out."

Ponyboy turned around in his seat, looking about ready to say something but before he could the car came to an abrupt stop. As soon as Ponyboy had the door open Paula was pushing her way out, not quickly enough though because the boy beside her moved his hand from around her shoulders landing on her rear side.

As soon as her feet hit the ground Paula whipped around and stuck her head back into the car.

"You're a pig," she said in a surprisingly even, calm voice before slamming the door. She let herself be pulled away from the car by Ponyboy and took in her surroundings. Thankfully she could see that they had made it to the DX. Sam's car took off in a hurry, not even bothering to let one of the guys get into the front seat.

That was it. She was cutting herself off from Sam and his weed. She was done. She was not into this sneaking around shit.

"What was that about?" Ponyboy was looking at her with a mixture of annoyance and deep confusion.

"Nothing Pony, just don't tell anyone, okay?" he looked like he was about to say something, a look he often had, but then shut his mouth and began walking toward the gas station.

It was good that her friend was so timid and quiet, or else she would really be worried about her secret getting out.

XXX

Paula and Pony had spent the rest of the afternoon at the DX drinking coke and listening to the older boys' banter between each other. It wasn't anything to exciting, but she didn't mind the company. They were a nice bunch of boys, probably the nicest of the whole neighbourhood. Soda was probably the nicest greaser out there, and most definitely the best looking. Paula couldn't deny that she'd had more than a few butterflies floating around in her stomach the first day Pony had introduced them. Two-Bit was the jokester of the group and Steve wasn't too bad either; he could be a tinge cranky though. She liked hanging around Pony's gang; they were a heck of a lot nicer than her own brother's.

But it had gotten late, the sun was already setting and she needed to get home to do her homework. It had cooled down considerably so walking wasn't a problem anymore. When she heard that familiar engine rumble again she couldn't help but feel her stomach twist itself all up.

The car was crept up to her slowly until they were side by side. She quickly glanced to the right, taking in the fact that only Sam was in there now.

"You stalkin' me now or what?"

"Well no, I reckon I ain't. Just thought I'd apologize for the way Roy was actin' earlier," he said simply which made Paula believe he was probably being sincere. In fact he hadn't been nothing but nice since the first day they'd met. Although he did hassle her about kissin' him, but she knew he didn't mean no harm by it.

"Well it was damn stupid thing to pick them up."

In all actuality she knew it wasn't his fault, she knew, if she hadn't been in the car in the first place the other boys, Roy, wouldn't have had a chance to hassle her.

"I guess you're right," Paula stopped in her tracks. She didn't know what to say, or where the conversation was even going.

"You want to meet up tonight?"

Of course she did, after seeing her mom and Rick fight the way she did, it had stayed on her mind all day and she wanted something to help her forget. But she knew if she kept this habit, and kept meeting up with Sam it was only going to get her into trouble. Weighing the options in her head she sighed. Neither option was going to get her what she really wanted.

"I ain't asking you to marry me," he smirked at her, the dimples in his cheeks deepening. After the day she'd had she wanted had the sudden urge to knock it right off his face.

"Same time?" she relented. Paula knew it was the wrong answer, but she said it anyway.

"Course."

XXX

It was only eight o'clock and Paula was already wishing she could leave. Rick had apparently decided to skip out on his night shift and he and her mom were going at it again, obviously trying to finish the fight they had started this morning. Tim wasn't home, which wasn't a surprise, he'd barely been home in the last few weeks. When Curly had left this morning Paula guessed he didn't plan on coming back until no one in the house could possibly be awake. Angela was home though, but she was much comfort.

"Aren't you goin' ask how my date with Bobby went?" Angela was painting her nails, on Paula's bed and she couldn't help but feel irritated. Why couldn't she paint her nails on her own bed? She knew she'd spill sometime or another. It was stupid thing to be irritated about, but hell, anything Angela did was irritating.

"Not really," Paula sighed, knowing she'd hear about it anyway.

Angela huffed and sent a glare in Paula's direction. Less than thirty seconds later though she opened her mouth again.

"It was great at first. He picked me up, on time which was a nice bonus. I was looking stunning, of course. We had dinner, and I guess while we were eating there wasn't much time for talking but once we got to the drive in I realized how much of a total bore he really was. I practically ignored him for the rest of the night and then of all things he decides to kiss me before he lets me loose!" Angela looked as though this was the worst thing to ever happen to her. Paula couldn't help but laugh. So he'd kissed her? That certainly wasn't the farthest she's ever gone.

"So?" Paula tried to act uninterested. But truth be told, hearing about her date was much more inviting then listening to the screaming down the hall.

"Well it was damn near terrible!"

"Did he ask to go out again?" Of course he did, boys tripped over their own feet in an effort to date Angela. She was beautiful. She had long dark hair, longer than Paula's had ever been. Her olive coloured complexion was flawless and as she'd grown up her body had matured in all the right ways.

"Duh, but I told him it wasn't going to work. I told him it wasn't me, it was him."

Paula couldn't help herself as she burst out laughing. _It's not me, it's you_? Only Angela would have the guts to say that to a guy. Angela looked at Paula with a scrunched up face, confused as to what she found so amusing.

Both girls, though, were brought back to reality when a loud thud, the sound of someone being thrown up against the wall, echoed throughout the house. The crying accompanying it made it easy to figure out what had happened.

Angela rose from the bed quickly, moved to the mirror and fixed the flyaways in her hair. Paula could see her face in the mirror and could tell she was upset but when she turned back towards her sister's face was lit up in a smirk.

"Nice chatting with you little sis, but I got myself another date!"

Of course she did. But then again, maybe she didn't. Maybe she just wanted to get out of the house as badly as Paula wanted to.

One last look and Angela lifted the window and jumped the few meters to the ground. That window sure did get a workout. Paula frowned, she was all alone again. Her siblings had a habit of leaving her to deal with the aftermath.

She gave it a good five minutes before she wandered into the living room. The yelling had stopped leading her to believe Rick had left. But the crying continued. She found her mother bunched up against the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. Her whole body was shaking with sobs. Paula sat next to her and wrapped her arms around her mother. At first she'd flinched at the touch but then let her body relax once she realized it was her daughter. Paula was always the one to comfort her mother. She didn't know why she did it though. Her mother wasn't nice to her at all. Drunk or sober she barely had a nice thing to throw Paula's way.

After awhile her mother finally lifted her head. Paula assessed the damage, a split lip and a bruised cheek, and went off into the bathroom for some medical supplies. By the time she returned to the living room her mother had a bottle of jack in her hands.

"C'mere mama," Paula wiped away the dried blood and caked on makeup that had run down her face. By the time her mother had finished the bottle and made her way to bed it was well after ten. They hadn't spoken any words and for that Paula was thankful. She didn't have a clue as to what to say to her mother? She knew if her mother every left Rick there would be pigs flying in the sky.

Exhausted Paula sat herself down on the couch and closed her eyes, willing three o'clock to come sooner.

"What are you doing here?" a voice sneered. She hadn't even noticed anyone come into the house.

"I live here," she muttered, almost to herself. It probably wasn't her best line, but the words had slipped through her lips nonetheless.

Rick raised the bottle of beer to his mouth but she could still see his smirk behind it. It unnerved her and she wanted to get up and leave but like this morning he was blocking her path.

"You never did thank me for that," Rick sat on the couch next to her and she swallowed the bile that was ising in her throat. She wished Tim or Curly were home.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. The smell alcohol on his breath and it was making her stomach turn.

"Yer slut mother couldn't afford to keep you. Four of you little brats were too expensive," he chuckled to himself, "She was goin' have to ship you off to yer good for nothing daddy,"

Paula's heart dropped. No one talked about their dad. Ever.

He'd been a mean on son of a bitch. She knew that. But being the youngest, Paula didn't have any memories of him and frankly she wanted it to remain like that.

"You're lying," she did her best to sound confident. Most days Paula was pretty sure that her mother liked her least out of her four children, but she wouldn't have actually sent her away would she have?

"I ain't talkin' about ole Timothy Shepard, baby. Your mama was shackled up with some other guy. That's why Shepard left in the first place."

Paula felt as though her heart had fallen to the pit of her stomach. Her breathing became heavy and her mind fuzzed as she tried to decipher what Rick had just revealed to her.

"You're lying," Paula said again, willing it to be true. Paula glanced Rick's way, hoping to catch him laughing at the cruel joke.

"But I'm not," Rick scooted closer to Paula on the couch and when she tried to stand up his large hand caught her arm. When she tried to move away his grip tightened so hard that she let out a shout of pain. Her mom wouldn't hear her anyway, she was passed out in bed.

"Get off-"Paula tried with all her might to push away at him but it was obvious she was facing an impossible battle.

"Now-now, don't try pretendin' that you don't take after yer slut of a mother," his hands were making their way to her middle and it took all she could to stop of the scream that was building in her throat. Instinctly Paula pulled he leg behind her and then threw her foot as hard as she could into Ricks shin. The pain caused him to let go and Paula took this time to pull herself away from the couch and him and half ran and half trip towards the door. Paula could hear Rick curse from behind her but she kept running until she was far enough from her house that she could even feel safe enough to look back and make sure she wasn't being followed. But she didn't feel safe, she felt anything but.

**A/N: Okay. So if anyone's confused. Paula is the youngest Shepard. In my world Curly is older than her, Angela is older than Curly and Tim is of course the oldest. Rick is the step-father, but as you can see Paula's father is not Curly, Angela's, or Tim's. Please review and let me know what you think :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Made a change at the end of the last chapter which you should probably check out; Read and Review :) thanks!**

**S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders. **

**XXX**

Paula collapsed against the rickety children's play equipment and tried to pull herself together long enough to put the pieces together in her head.

But even as she tried to think things through she couldn't focus on one single thing. The man that she had thought to be her father her entire life was not actually her father? Her siblings shared the same father, but she didn't? Was she the reason he left their family behind? Rick was just drunk. Maybe he was just being an asshole. Paula angrily brushed away a few stray tears.

As the night deepened farther into darkness Paula sat with her arms wrapped around her body. Time passed, although she had no idea how much, since she had run out of the house, and all she wished was for Sam to hurry up and get there with the drugs. She needed it more than ever. She wanted to erase the images that were invading her mind, the images that were making her sick to her stomach.

The crunch of gravel in front of Paula's caused her body to immediately tense, and it took all the courage she had inside of her to look up to see who it was.

"You alright?"

All the air in Paula's body left in what felt like one big whoosh. It was Sam. Not Rick, Sam.

"Mhmm," was her response. She silently wished he'd just pull out the weed. But he didn't, instead he grabbed hold of her two arms and pulled her to standing position.

"You don't look it," he said quietly.

Paula met his eyes briefly, long enough to realize that they were actually filled with concern. That's when she lost it again. Hell, she was surprised that she actually had that many tears in her body, but she did. She had a whole heap of them.

Sam brought her into his embrace and Paula took it right away. She let her body be held up by someone else for a change. But she was embarrassed nonetheless. She was crying like a baby in front of someone she barely knew. But as soon as he brought her in, he pulled her away.

"Maybe I should take ya to your brother? I just seen 'em not too long ago down-"

"No-no-no," between gulps of air Paula shook her heard quickly. Her heart rate sped up at the thought of telling her brother's what had just occurred.

"Are you sure? I could drop you off down the street- they wouldn't even see me," he tried again.

It wasn't even the fact that they might see her with Sam. That was truly the last thing on her mind. The thing was, if she had been the reason for her own sibling's dad to desert them then she sure as hell wasn't going to repeat history. Whenever Rick went on a rampage about supporting the family, she knew he was right. He did support the family. Her mother hardly brought in a pay check, and neither Tim nor Curly had worked an honest day in their lives. Sure she would love to see Tim beat the every loving shit out of Rick but,

No, she wouldn't be the one to destroy her family again.

Instead of Sam pulling her over to his car, like she thought he'd been about to do he sat down and pulled her down next to him. He wrapped one arm around her and let her cry against him.

Paula felt stupid, but there was no denying that Sam was pretty comforting at the moment. So comforting that she forgot all about the weed she had so desperately needed.

XXX

"Are you goin' share what had you so worked up?"

It was a simple enough request. If Paula were honest with herself, he deserved to at least get an answer. He did, after all, spend the early morning sitting in the park with her and now he was driving her back to her house. But Paula couldn't quite bring herself to let the words out of her mouth.

"I- don't want to talk to about it," Paula answered quietly, her eyes watching the house fly by out her window.

"Well I figure you should tell someone – you were awfully upset,"

Paula couldn't help herself and she snorted in his direction.

"Yeah thanks, I'll get right on that,"

"Well I see whatever it is it didn't spoil your lovely attitude," Sam retorted. His patients must be weaning.

The houses began to become more familiar as Sam pulled up in front of her own residence. It was six in the morning and although the sun was already shining Paula prayed that all her family members would be sleeping. Including Rick.

Paula shuddered. She wasn't so sure she even wanted to go back into the house, but it was far too early to go to the Curtis'. Darry was freakily perceptive and he'd know something was up for sure.

About to open the door, something struck Paula as weird.

"How did you know I lived here?" Paula asked looking to the driver's seat.

"Cause I spend my days stalkin' you everywhere you go and I noticed that you spend the majority of your time at this residence," Sam had an eyebrow cocked and was smirking. Paula sighed at his immaturity. "This also happens to be the home of Tim Shepard, who happens to be a gang leader that me and my buddies are well aware of."

Paula immediately felt stupid. Of course he would know where her brother lived.

"Oh right. Well, thanks for the ride. And thanks for staying out there with me, you didn't have too," Paula muttered quietly. "You probably shouldn't have."

"You're probably right about that," Sam shook his head slightly. "Your brother don't look none to happy."

It took Paula a few seconds to register what he had said but when she did her heart all but fell to the bottom of her stomach.

"Shit!"

He was standing on the porch staring right into Sam's car and she could tell that his eyes were blazing.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Paula felt frozen in her seat.

"My sentiments exactly," Sam wasn't looking at her, but right passed her, locking eyes with her brother.

Still, Paula didn't move. Her brother was going to kill her. Honest to god kill her. This looked wrong on so many levels; he would never believe her.

"Are ya goin'..go?" Sam finally brought his eyes to hers and he seemed uncomfortable.

"Suddenly I'm not quite in a hurry to get home," Paula thought aloud, looking away from her brother's gaze.

Without any warning Sam shifted into gear and took off down the road. Paula sucked in air. Tim seeing them together wasn't a good situation, and taking off with Sam was probably even worse. But at the moment Paula was okay with taking the easy way out and leaving her brother standing on the porch.

"Where you want to go?" Sam asked, keeping his eyes trained on the road ahead.

"Somewhere where no one else is going to see us would be a good start," Paula retorted quietly.

So there she was on her way to god knows where with her drug dealer, her brother's enemy; a boy that she barely knew. It probably wasn't her brightest idea.

XXX

A few minutes later and Paula was seated in a dingy booth in some diner on the edge of town of which she did not even know the name. She'd run into the building so quickly she hadn't even registered where exactly she was.

Sitting in the seat across from Sam, Paula was unusually silent. Instead she stuffed her mouth with the pancakes and a chocolate shake had just bought for her.

"So you want to talk about it now," Sam questioned, not overly pushy, just friendly. Paula figured if she owed him an explanation before, he definitely deserved one now. He would be sure to feel the wrath of her brother in no time.

"Not really," but she would.

"My idiot step-father came home last night when no one was home but my mama. She was passed out though," Paula rattled off, "He was just being his normal asshole self and then he opened his mouth."

Paula ducked her head a little. It felt kind of weird to be talking about her family like that, even if they were unbelievably dysfunctional. Sam looked at her quietly, waiting for her to continue. She did.

"He basically called my mom a slut and said that I had a different father than everyone else in my family," Paula sighed. Saying it out loud made it all too disgustingly real. Paula sucked on her straw and it made a slurping noise signalling its emptiness. Sighing again Paula pushed it away and looked out the window to the passing cars. It was still early and everyone was off to work. It was probably less than an hour before she was supposed to be in school.

"Well, as far as I can see, your mom ain't a slut," Sam spoke up finally.

"That's a nice thing to say Sam but I'm afraid she is."


	6. Chapter 6

**S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders, not me. **

It was nearly lunch and if Curly and Angela were doing what they were supposed to they'd be sitting in a hard desk seat at Will Rogers. Tim's whereabouts were a gamble. He could be at home, then again he might not.

Paula twisted the knob of the door slowly and pushed it open. She didn't enter right away; instead she peered into the darkness hesitantly. Once she was satisfied that no one was home she kicked off her shoes and skipped to the kitchen. Bent over with her head in the fridge Paula sifted through the moulded food to find something worth eating.

"There a reason you're sneaking around?" a voice came from behind her.

It spooked her and she slammed her head on the top of the fridge.

"Damn it Tim, you nearly gave me a heart attack," Paula shot back.

"You'll be lucky if that's all I give you," Tim drawled slowly, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Paula narrowed her eyes at her brother and shut the fridge door behind her.

"Tim you ain't my father so stop acting like you are," Paula muttered angrily.

"You sound like Curly and Angela, but they smartened up real quick," Tim's cool voice seemed to echo throughout the entire horse. If Tim wasn't her brother she would seriously be scared for her life.

"What are you doing with that asshole? And don't even think of lying to me."

Paula bit the inside of her cheek, choosing her next words carefully.

"He's been helping me out," she started slowly.

"Helping you out with what Paula," Tim's eyes narrowed at his sister. He was annoyed that much was clear, there was nothing else that Paula could do.

"Just stuff I've been going through," she tried again.

"And what horrible thing are you possibly going through?" he sneered, he hands in the air.

What he said ignited a fire in Paula that she hadn't quite known was there.

"You're right Tim, how could I possibly be going through anything when you've got it so damn tough. You got a gang to lead and you've got to support this family," Paula spat out, her voice rising well over her brother's now, "How could me or Curly or Angela have anything to worry about we are just little children after all. All you do is boss us around like we have no feelings at all."

Her words seemed to get a rise out of Tim as he jumped to his feet and grabbed the back of a kitchen chair and whipped it to the side.

"Shut your fucking mouth, kid." Tim shot back, taking a few steps toward her, "No kid sister of mine will be slumming around with a River King while all this shit is going on. I won't be made a fool, you got it?"

"I'll do whatever I want," Paula spit out. She knew it was the wrong thing to say and she knew what she had coming wouldn't be pretty but she'd had enough of Tim telling her what to do. She'd had enough of her dysfunctional family.

When his hand reached out and slapped her across the face she wasn't surprised but she couldn't ignore the sting. The sting of the face pain and the sting of being hit by her own brother. She'd seen him slap Angela a few times and he pushed Curly around plenty but he had never actually laid a hand on her before.

"What the hell is going out here?" a new voice rang out from the doorway. Angela and Marion, Paula's mother, had just gotten home in time to see the show unfolding.

"Paula's out here gallivanting like a good ole' whore," Tim threw his hands up in despair, as though he couldn't believe it.

"It ain't the only she's doing," Angela piped in. Paula sent a glare in her direction. Her eyes begged Angela not to say anything but Angela's face remained stony. "She's been sneaking off every night to smoke dope."

"What's fucking wrong with you child," Paula's mom's tired eyes flared as she approached her youngest daughter.

What was wrong with her? Tim was a gang leader. Curly was in and out of reform school. Angela had probably contracted every disease out there. Her mama was the whore who stayed with a drunk of a husband who beat her.

"This family is what's wrong with me, mama," Paula sucked in some air, "It ain't even my real family. Apparently I ain't the only whore in this family."

It might have been a slight exaggeration. Her mama was her mama and Tim and Curly were her brother's and Angela was her sister but she felt excluded from the family bond, a weak one, but a bond nonetheless.

"Where the fuck did that come from? Huh?" Her mom stepped closer so that she was in touching distance.

"Rick opened his mouth, but the way I see it," Paula stepped back, "I deserve to know who the hell my father is."

"What the hell is she talking about?" Tim asked forcefully. Paula's mom froze as she looked from her youngest to her oldest, both staring at her intently. Instead she shuffled back towards the door.

With a look of defeat she uttered the single word that Paula had been waiting for.

"Bobby."

And then she was gone, down the porch steps and onto the street where she disappeared.

"Who the fuck is Bobby? What the hell are you talking about?" Tim grabbed her arm and yanked her around to face him.

Paula shrugged. Wasn't it obvious?

"Bobby," she slid the name over her tongue, testing it out.

"Who's Bobby?" asked Angela.

"My old man, I guess," Paula took in the look disbelief plastered on her sister's face and knew that it was the first time she'd heard this information. But when Paula looked over towards her brother again she knew right then that he'd known something.

"But you knew that Tim," Paula shook his hand off her arm. She could hear Angela mumbling something about always being the last to know.

"I didn't know his name, I just remembered her with him when I was a kid," Tim said with his eyes closed, "she'd bring him around the house when our father was working."

"Your father," Paula muttered. It still felt weird to say it out loud, completely contradicting something she'd thought she known all her life.

XXX

She'd run out of the house before either of her siblings could say much more to her. She didn't want to hear what they thought about the situation. Whatever they would say it would be far from comforting.

Instead she was headed off down to see Ponyboy. She knew she'd been neglecting their friendship for the last while and it was as good of a time as any other to make an effort.

Climbing the stairs of the Curtis's house she realized that school probably wasn't even over yet. Tired from the last twelve hours she sank into the front porch bench and dozed off to sleep.

The next thing she knew she was laying on the wooden floor of the porch and someone was standing over her.

"Why weren't you at school?" Pony questioned her, his face void of any emotion.

"Too much excitement at the Shepard house," she answered, covering her eyes with the back of her hands, blocking out the intense sunshine. She really wanted to talk to Pony, but she didn't want the lecture she was sure he'd be itching to give.

"Are you alright?" Pony asked, sitting down next to her. She watched him pull out his cigarettes and a pack of matches. He lit one and passed it over to her and then lit one for himself. It was a routine they'd gotten into when they were younger. She'd never had money to buy her own cigarettes and always ended up asking Pony for a drag eventually.

"I guess," Paula mumbled, gazing out onto the street.

"Just spill Paula," slapped her leg, bringing her attention back to her friend. "You've been so spacey lately."

"Okay, calm down," she sighed and started her story, "Rick let it slip to me the other day that I ain't got the same daddy as Tim and Curly and Ang."

"Wow," Pony whistled, "I wasn't expecting that. I thought you were going to say that you were all wrapped up with that River King."

Paula couldn't help but laugh out loud. Darryl wasn't the perceptive one in the Curtis family.

"Well, Tim saw me driving around with him this morning too," Paula remembered, "He was pissed."

"No doubt, that guy's dangerous," Pony gasped, shaking his head, "you should stay away from him."

"You don't even know him Pony," Paula groaned, this was the lecture she'd been expecting. "He's a good guy."

"I bet. How do you even know him?" Pony rolled his eyes.

"He's been hooking me up with some, you know, herbs," Paula replied quietly.

"Oh yeah he's a great guy Paula, just fantastic," Pony replied sarcastically, shaking his head back and forth.

"Now Tim's all over me," Paula cringed thinking about her brother. He wasn't going to let her off the hook easily.

"I know the feeling," Ponyboy hung his head. "Darry's gone all super dad on me."

Paula draped her arm around Pony's shoulders and gave him a small squeeze.

"He's just trying to look out for you," she reassured him.

"So is your brother," Pony sighed, "Just be careful Paula."

"Don't worry so much Ponyboy, let's go grab something to eat," Paula stood up and pulled Pony to his feet beside her. The two shuffled their way inside, towards the kitchen.

XXX

After the two had raided the fridge , they decided to catch a late movie downtown. They were watching James Dean's newest and Paula couldn't help but get lost into those mysterious eyes of his.

Ponyboy snorted when he saw her face when James just about went off the cliff in the car.

By the time the next movie started she was feeling hungry again. Pony was thoroughly engaged in the film so she took it upon herself to get them snacks.

Paula took her time, strolling to the candy counter.

"Fancy meeting you here," an arm snaked around her shoulders.

"What exactly do you think you doing," she hissed, quietly, but didn't remove his arm.

Sam was looking at her goofily and after taking a big whiff she knew what had him in such a good mood.

"What does it matter now, you're brother seen us and I reckon' I'm in for a beating," he drawled, seemingly not that upset. "Then I'm going to have to explain why exactly I got myself a beating. Cat's out of the bag darling."

Paula finally shrugged his arm away and moved towards the theatre door.

"Aww c'mon Paula, I'm sorry," Sam called after her, grabbing her arm. "Honest, I'm sorry, I just thought that maybe we could be, you know friends now."

He was right; the cat was out of the bag. But Tim would never allow her to be friends with him anyway. She shook her head at the thought. Tim wasn' t her daddy and she meant what she had told him. She could do whatever she wanted. She had enough of his control games. She wasn't a part of his gang.

"I suppose we could," Paula smiled, mostly to herself.

"Good. I got a deal set up, want to come with?" has asked her, and although she knew better to get involved she couldn't turn down the smile he was throwing her way.

"Might as well," Paula rolled her eyes and led the way out of the movie theatre. The fact that she had left her best friend inside had completely escaped her.

**I'm aware James Dean's Rebel without a Cause was released in the fifties, just roll with me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**It's been awhile and for that I am sorry, but I am back into writing so hopefully I can finish this story up!**

**I don't own a thing!**

**XXX**

"Kay, you keep my seat warm," Sam instructed, throwing a wink Paula's way. Automatically, she rolled her eyes at him but in reality she was enjoying his company. Hoping out of the car he gave her a smile and a quick wave before he jogged down the alley and around the corner.

The first bang barely registered with her. She passed it off as a car back firing down the alley. But when the second bang echoed through the night a sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach.

In what felt like slow motion Paula hopped out of the car and stumbled around the corner that Sam had disappeared around only a few minutes before. Once her eyes adjusted to the dark alley, what lay before her made the hair on her neck stick up.

Sam was sprawled out on the gravel in an unnatural position and someone was running down the alley away from him. The silver glint of a pistol in his hand caught her eye as he raced away.

"Sam! Are you hurt – are you okay?" Paula shrieked, rushing to his side. She hesitated though, her hands hovering above his body, scared to touch him.

Sam's face was scrunched up in pain as he tried to sit up, his opposite hand holding onto his shoulder.

"Fucking shit my fucking shoulder feels like it's on fire," he bellowed loudly, startling Paula. "Help me up."

"Okay, just let me take a look at it first," Paula croaked out, praying that she didn't vomit, while trying to pry Sam's hand away from his shoulder, "Just keep your eyes on me,"

"I'm fine goddamnit," Sam hissed, making an effort to sit up again. When he looked down at his shoulder though the whimper that came out of him completely ruined the tough guy persona he had been trying to portray. "Ohh shit, shit that's a lot of blood ain't it?"

"I – maybe just lay down again," Puala muttered, swallowing her own saliva, doing her best to settle her own stomach. Sam dropped his head back down and Paula noticed that his chest began to rise and fall much more rapidly.

"You got to calm down Sam," Paula instructed in the sternest voice she could muster. She brushed a few hairs out of his eyes and rubbed his forehead the way her mama used to when she was sick. It had comforted her when she was young and she hoped it would help Sam so he wouldn't pass out right there in the alleyway.

After a few deep breaths Sam opened his eyes again.

"Alright I ain't going to bleed out down here, help me up," he winced in pain again, "Good thing they only got me once."

Instead of helping him up Paula looked around them. She hadn't seen a second person.

"Paula," Sam grabbed her arm.

"Shit sorry," she said turning back to him. He looked pale and that scared her. With all her strength, and the little that Sam had in him they pulled him to a standing position, leaning his body against hers.

It took them what felt like five minutes to get down the alley, around the corner and into the car. Paula pulled and pushed Sam in every which way she could. He was losing more blood by the minutes and his energy was seriously waning.

Paula jumped into the driver's seat and started the car up and then realized she didn't know exactly where she was going to drive.

"The hospital?" she asked aloud.

"Hell no, I'll give you directions just get back on 6th Avenue," Sam grimaced. Paula noticed that his eyes were closed now.

Stepping on the gas the tires squealed and they were off. The fact that this was the first time she had ever driven a car escaped her.

XXX

She was panicking.

"You know, you're going to have to help me in there," Sam said quietly, sitting silently beside her. "Preferably, before I bleed out."

"Shit – Sorry – damn it," Paula unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to him. "Are you sure It's safe for me to go in there."

"I won't let nothing happen to you Paula," Sam muttered, grimacing. In his current state he wasn't all the convincing.

Nonetheless Paula knew she had to get him help and to do that she was going to have to suck it up and face her fears.

"That's real assuring," she grumbled while getting out of the car and moving around to the passenger side, "You can't even walk by yourself, how are you gonna protect me."

Again it was a struggle to get Sam out of the car and up the walk way but they finally approached the brown colored home. Paula reached out to knock but before she could the door flung open.

Paula groaned inwardly. Of course it had to be him who'd opened the door. Roy.

"Sammy what the fuck?" he yelled grabbing Sam by the shoulders and pulling him inside to the relief of Paula. If she had any mind she'd turn on her heels and walk right back down the sidewalk but instead she stepped into the house. "Vincent, get your ass out here!"

Paula's shivered at hearing the name.

When he came into the living room he didn't even look over at Sam, instead his gaze was focused on her. Paula swallowed hard. Again, she felt the need to run out the door and down the street. But, she wanted to make sure Sam was going to be alright.

"What the hell is this broad doing in my living room," he sneered, "she's got a lot of nerve."

"She brought Sammy, he's shot," Roy answered him hysterically.

To Paula's relief Lee Vincent moved his attention from her to where Sam lay on the couch.

"Shit. Go call his brother Roy," Vincent actually sounded worried which kind of freaked out Paula. "Who was it?"

Paula watched Sam tense up at the question.

"Was it Shepard's boys?" he asked. Sam closed his eyes tight and groaned. Then he opened them, looking straight at Paula. They were soft and apologizing.

"Two of em."

"What," Paula said incredously. The word was out of her mouth before she could help herself.

"What what? What do you expect little girl. You're brother has been trying to take out my guys for the last month," Vincent sneered, eyes back on her.

"He wouldn't," Paula murmured quietly.

"Are you stupid, broad? Of course he would he don't want any competition on his whole side of Tulsa." Vincent chucked, "Your lucky we don't do you in for revenge."

"Stop it, you ain't going to hurt her," came from a weak Sam.

"Boy, you're lucky your dying on my couch or I'd beat the shit right outta you," Lee whipped around back to Sam. "Your brother ought to tune you up."

"Are you going to help him or not?" Paula was sick of the chit chat. Sam wasn't looking any better laying there on the couch. He did let out a strangled chuckle when she spoke up.

"Are you going to help him or not," Vincent copied in a whiny voice that she guessed was supposed to sound like her own. "I'm waiting for his brother to get here and clean him up. I don't know shit about gunshot wounds. His brother's a little more educated on that topic."

Paula shuddered. She bet he was.

"If you're sticking around – which I don't know why you would – I suggest maybe getting a towl and press it to his wound. That's women's work," he said throwing her a smirk, and grabbed a beer.

She watched him guzzle his drink curiously. Was she supposed to go into his kitchen and get a towel herself? Instead of opening her mouth again she walked to the kitchen and grabbed the towel hanging from the stove. It didn't look all that clean but it would do the trick.

Coming back into the living room she kneeled down beside Sam and lifted his shirt off his body and over his head. She couldn't help but notice that he had quite the set of chiselled abs.

Sam hissed when she brought the towel down on his wound and he cried out when she pushed down.

"I'm sorry – sorry, I have to stop the bleeding," she murmured.

Next thing she knew the door flew open and more than one body flew into the room.

"Where is he?"

"What happened?"

"Did he get them back?"

"Who the hell is she?"

"Ain't that a Shepard kid?"

"Get me the needle and thread. Shit, better get the tweezers too,"

Paula felt herself being pushed out of the way so she stood up and moved toward the door. There had to be more than six people in the room now not even counting Paula or Sam.

Paula watched as one boy, who she guessed was Sam's brother, work in frenzy, pulling out the bullet, splashing vodka into the open wound and then stitching it up with a needle and regular thread. She winced every time the needle went in and out.

As she watched the older boy work she was quite aware that the rest of the room was watching her.

"Why haven't we tied her up and put her in the corner yet," one boy that she didn't recognize asked the group. The look, the one like she was a steak and he wanted to gobble her up, was making her sick to her stomach.

"Shut it Bradley," Sam said angrily. He threw a glance over to Paula and gave her a small, weak smile.

"Well shit, it was her brother that shot you wasn't it?" Sam's brother retorted, shaking his head. He stood up stretched his arms in the air.

"Well it wasn't her and I ain't dead so just drop it," Sam muttered loudly. He got up off the couch, struggled a bit and walked over to where Paula stood. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway. From behind them he heard voices arguing and then he heard a clear loud voice above them.

"You think that's a smart move, boy," Lee asked, "You better believe the next time he won't be aiming to just injure."

If Sam heard what he said then he ignored him, instead continued on pulling Paula through a narrow doorway. Inside the doorway was a bed and a small dresser.

Sam layed down on the bed slowly, grimacing in pain. With his had he patted the space beside him.

"I should probably leave,"

Sam closed his eyes and groaned. "The only way you're getting out of here alive is with me and I ain't moving until I'm feeling better."

Paula believed him. She took her sweater off, hanging it on the knob of the door and laid down next to him in the bed, careful not to touch him.

"Grab the bag and matches in my front pocket," he instructed. She looked at his face and blushed. He smirked and she scrunched her nose at him.

Still, she slipped her fingers into his front pocket and picked out the bag of weed and the pack of matches. She grabbed the small, rolled joint and put it to her lips. She lit the first match but it went out before she could reach the joint because of her shaking hand. On her second attempt she got it lit. She puffed in a few times and then handed it over Sam who took it between his fingers and sucked. They passed it back and forth until it was burnt out. Paula rubbed her eyes and looked out the window. The sun was going down and she wondered if anyone at her house was wondering where she went. She guessed they weren't.

"Stop thinking so hard," Sam said as he brushed the hair out of her face. She smiled at him and nestled her head under his arm, careful not to bump his shoulder and that's how she fell asleep.

**XXX**

When Paula awoke nine hours later it took her a few minutes to get her bearings. The events of the last night came rushing back to her soon enough though.

"Sam – wake up," she shook his bare stomach. He groaned but didn't open his eyes. Paula sighed quietly.

"You want to go home?" his voice spooked her a little, thinking that he was still sleeping.

"I don't know," Paula whispered in the dark. The sun was on the verge of coming up which meant it was no earlier than five o'clock. She didn't really want to go home, not after everything that had gone on with Tim and her mom. But she didn't think she should stay where she was.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought you here," Sam sighed, rolling on his right side in an effort to pull himself out of bed. "I wasn't thinking straight."

"You needed help," Paula reassured him. It wasn't his fault. She could have turned on her heels and ran right out of the house as soon as Roy had come to the door. But she hadn't, and that was her fault. "Can you take me to the Curtis's?"

"Sure thing darling."

Paula slipped her sweater over her shoulders and opened the door as quietly as possible, stepping back so Sam could go first.

Walking down the hallway Paula could hear some commotion coming from the kitchen. She stopped, unsure if she should keep walking but Sam didn't slow down so she skipped to catch up with him.

Sure enough there was someone up and moving in the kitchen. He was an older man with a pair of overalls on and sipping on a cup of steaming coffee. When the two of them entered he turned his head to face them. His eyebrows were raised.

"Good mornin' Bobby," Sam drawled, tiredly.

Bobby?

It couldn't be, it was just a might strange coincidence.

"Same to you, Sam. Who's your friend?" he asked, glancing over at Paula, letting his eyes pause on her face. "She looks like someone I used to know."

Paula's heart nearly stopped.

Whatever Sam said she missed and the next thing she knew Sam was pulling her through the living room and out the front door.

"Sam what did he just say?" Paula asked, her mind swirling. She could barely focus on anything outside.

"Huh?"

"Who did he say I looked like?" she asked again, her voice getting louder.

"Someone he used to know?" Sam stopped and grabbed her chin, "what's on your mind?"

"Sam, my mom said that my daddy's name is Bobby, Sam his name is Bobby ain't it?" she was shaking now, her mind racing.

"Bobby, thats Lee's pop – " Sam started but the sudden realization seemed to overcome him, "holy shit you don't think that – that he's your father?"

"Sam, everything just clicks don't it?" Paula asked hysterically, her hands gripping Sam's forearms.

It was almost too crazy to be real.

"I – yeah I mean it's possible," Sam agreed slowly.

Paula took a deep breath. There was only one way she was going to know for sure and that involved her asking her mother. Paula moved toward the car again and Sam followed.

"Change of plan's, can you take me home?" Paula asked Sam who had taken off down the road.

"Are you sure that's a good idea," Sam asked cautiously.

"It probably isn't but I have to know for sure," Paula replied firmly.


	8. Chapter 8

**This might be a boring chapter so I apologize, I'm trying really hard to finish this story! Thanks for the reviews, especially the really long one, it definitely gave me the motivation to finish this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. **

**XXX**

The courage she had built up on the ride evaporated the moment her house came into view.

"Need back up?" Sam asked quietly, reaching over Paula and opening the passenger door. The wince when he did so was hard to miss.

"No," Paula said slowly, her gaze locked on the house that she so many times wished to be rid of.

"Sure 'bout that?" he asked once more.

Paula eyes travelled backed to the driver's seat. If she was being honest, she would have told him to come with her. Having someone along that wouldn't yell or berate her sounded good, but at the same time she didn't want her to think she was a needy little girl. It probably wouldn't be good for his either, walking right into the Shepard home.

There was a reason that it seemed like only yesterday that Sam was just her drug dealer; it had been only yesterday. The last 48 hours had been a whirlwind that Paula was not at all expecting.

"Thanks for the ride," Paula forced a smile, "I'll see you."

She didn't wait for a response; instead she jumped out into the crisp morning air and began the unbearably long trek to the front door.

There was a great possibility that Rick would be home, and she knew her mother wouldn't have left to work yet. Curly and Angela would probably still be tucked away in bed.

She didn't really have a plan; she was just going to ask her mom point blank. Was her daddy Bobby Vincent. It was a yes or no question. Simple.

Just before she opened the door Paula glanced back to street. Sam was still parked where he had dropped her off.

Taking a deep breath in Paula turned the knob and entered her house, doing the best to ignore the feeling of being a stranger in her own home.

"Mama?" she called out softly.

"Kitchen," a voice answered.

Paula took the few shaky steps she needed to get herself to the kitchen and to her mother.

The kitchen itself smelled like a brewery.

"Where've you been?" her mama asked, her eyes on the paper in front of her and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

"At a friends," Paula said slowly, "I got a question for you."

Her mama took the cigarette out of her mouth, but kept her eyes on the paper for a few more seconds. Finally after what felt like a billion minutes Marion lifted her gaze to her youngest daughter.

"You know Paula, I had high hopes for you," she sighed as she spoke, "you were always such a good little girl. You were shy and polite – not like Ang or Curly. You were quiet and smart, always thinking."

This was the first time that Paula had ever heard this.

"But something happened to you Paula – you're just the same as them now, ain't you?"

"Real nice to say about your children, mama," Paula rolled her eyes, grinding her teeth together.

"I have a question," she tried again, this time with a louder voice.

"I didn't want you to know - I didn't want you to follow in his footsteps." Marion shook her head at what she was saying, "But I guess you're just as useless as he was."

Paula felt all the air leave her chest. Her mama really didn't love her. Paula felt the urge to run, but she had to know for sure.

"So it is him, Bobby Vincent?" she asked one last time, her eyes closed shut.

"Sure is honeybuns," Marion retorted, her dried lips cracking as she gave her youngest daughter a sad smile.

Paula's feet were stuck to the lenolium.

"I ain't coming back, Mama," Paula blurted out.

"Didn't think you would," she answered, eyes still focused on the paper.

"I love you," it was possibly a lie, but with all that her mother had whirled at her she deserved to feel a bit of guilt.

The seconds ticked by and there was no response. All the while feeling like a sack of potatoes Paula turned on her heels and walked the bedroom she shared with her sister.

Angela wasn't in bed, having probably not have come home at all. Paula pulled out an old brown duffle bag and began stuffing as many pieces of clothing she could find, not paying attention if they were hers or sisters.

Once she couldn't possibly fit anything else in the bag Paula scanned the room one last time. A few memories flooded back to her. Some happy, like when she and Angela had to hide in their room while Rick and her mama went at it and they made a huge fort and played house in it for hours. But then again, that memory wasn't all that happy if she really thought about it.

"Where are you doin'?"

Paula sighed. This was going to be the hardest part of leaving.

"Go back to bed Curly, it's still early," Paula said quietly, aware that her mother still sat in to kitchen.

"Don't give me that shit," Curly voice rose a few notches, "you've been running all over the fucking city for the last week. I talked to Ponyboy the other day, says he barely sees you anymore. Tim say's that your hanging out with some kid from the River Kings. Just tell me, if you're in trouble I can help, or at least Tim can."

Guilt flooded Paula.

"Curly – I'm leaving, Tim can't do anything for me, he's done enough," Paula turned on her heels and moved toward the door. As she reached the door she could hear Curly pleading to their mother.

"Why ain't you stopping her ma!"

"Paula!"

Paula sucked in her breath and scrunched up her face. She didn't expect to feel sad leaving this house, it held nothing but bad memories and hurt for her.

If she was going to miss anything it would be her siblings. She wouldn't miss Tim though. Angela wasn't much of a sister to her anyway. Curly was the only one she would truthfully miss.

Paula whipped open the front door and without a second look she skipped down the sidewalk.

It took her all the way to the sidewalk to realize that Sam was still parked in the spot where he had dropped her off.

He had the chair reclined and his eyes were closed. In the midst of her escape she couldn't help but laugh. He looked so innocent and childish lying there, deep in sleep.

His eyes popped open though when Curly slammed the front door closed and came running down towards her.

"Paula what the fuck are you doing with him –" Curly's face was scrunched up in anger. Paula always feared Tim the most but in that moment she was seriously scared for Sam's safety.

In an effort to diffuse the situation Paula reached up and grabbed her brother by the shoulders.

"Curly – just listen to me, Sam is a nice guy," Paula said, "I have to get away from here, you should understand."

"No I sure as fuck don't Paula," Curly chest was pumping up and down now, "You're just going to abandon this family."

"What family Curly? We're nowhere near a real family," Paula cried despairingly.

"You alright Paula?"

Paula bit the inside of her cheek. She wished he would have just stayed in the car.

"It ain't your business if my fucking sister is alright," Curly snarled towards Sam. He moved to push past her but Paula pushed with as much strength as she could.

"I'm leaving Curly, you can't stop me," Paula sighed, hoping her brother would give up his tough guy act.

"Just wait till Tim finds out," Curly moved his gaze from Paula to Sam on the other side of the car and lifted his finger to point at him, "your dead."

Paula watched Sam's face waiting for him to say something back along the lines of maybe you already tried once look how that worked out but he kept his mouth shut, although she was sure that she caught sight of a small smirk.

"Tim ain't my daddy,"

It was the truth, and she was about to go find who really was.


End file.
